If you’re fan of big lists, TimeOut.com has a list of their top 50 Star Wars characters. I can never make lists this complex because I gravitate toward hilarity in my love of characters. So my top three would be Sebulba, General Grievous, and Salacious Crumb and everyone would throw tomatoes at me. I don’t feel like having the Star Wars fandom attack me with pitchforks again this week. So I will attempt a serious top ten, but to make sure I can’t choose Jawa number 7 as my number one character, I will stick to the heroes.
Our pals at TimeOut tweeted us with this:
— Time Out Film (@TimeOutFilm) April 28, 2014
I do have to say to TimeOut, Padmé Amidala is in the top 5 for me. Putting Porkins above Padmé is criminal, TimeOut! I know he gave his life for democracy, but still, so did she!
My Top Ten List of Star Wars Heroes:
This guy has seen it all. If I could have a beer with one Star Wars character, within those beeps would be the deepest and complex stories the galaxy has ever heard. Plus if you ever get in a pinch, he can hack iTunes, steal food, and talk trash like no other.
2. Luke Skywalker.
Everyone can act as cool as they want about how Han Solo is the best, but lets be honest, before puberty, Luke Skywalker was your boy. Any child cynical enough to only love Han Solo and identify with him deeply, probably grew up listening to Siouxsie and the Banshees and currently resides in an opium den. After puberty, most Star Wars fans probably got their first date taking a page out of the Han Solo handbook (see no.5) . But in reality, we’re all Luke Skywalker.
Boba Fett gets all the credit for being “mysterious.” But this little dude is the real mysterious character of the Star Wars saga. The first time we saw him in The Empire Strikes Back, he probably had the best reveal in the entire saga. He went from a loony simpleton to a Zen master in about five minutes and a puppet pulled off the performance, thanks to Frank Oz. Now, over thirty years later, The Clone Wars is still revealing the answers to little mysteries about Yoda. Now, that’s a great character!
She is the essence of good. I found her story in The Phantom Menace to be severely underrated and often misunderstood. I like that in such an era of “grey” she’s the one character that clearly on the light side. She is powerful enough to remove a chancellor from office and unite her planet and drive our corporate corruption from her homeworld. She’s the key to saving the galaxy and she isn’t going to do it with supernatural force. However, once she figures out she’s going to die anyways, she gives into her passions and marries the man that will one day enslave the galaxy. She’s a great character.
5. Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker
I honestly don’t have a lot to say about Darth Vader. The films as we know them today are his story. I think after 34 years of everything being about Darth Vader he should be number one is my list, but I am a little burned out on him right now. His story of a young man with all the hope and promise in the world makes him the best kind of tragic character as we see how his personal attachments and inability to let go destroy his life and his humanity. I think if people were a little more reflective, they would identify with Darth Vader more than they do. And one last thing, all you guys thinking you’re cool like Han Solo, you’re probably more like teenage Anakin. Sorry. Someone had to tell you.
6. Qui-Gon Jinn.
Qui-Gon exemplifies what it means to be a Jedi. He forsakes bureaucratic order and follows his own path. He isn’t the most powerful Jedi out there in terms of physical force. Heck, Darth Maul killed Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan Kenobi was his wingman for the fight! So if he fought Darth Sidious, Qui-Gon would have been canned, shredded Neeson. That said, he was the path toward immortality for the Jedi. He is the icon and what every Jedi should strive to be. He was a man of the people.
7. Princess Leia Organa.
I love Princess Leia. But I think I love her for the same reasons most men love Han Solo. She’s got attitude. Her character eyerolls stupidity, uses English accents if it will help her out, uses American accents if that will help her out, and can shoot better than the clumsy cast of rebels attempting to “save” her! She pretended to be a bounty hunter to save her friend and befriended the entire Ewok village with her diplomatic skills. Diplomatic skills that brought down the Galactic Empire!
8. Lando Calrissian.
Lando is an interesting character because he was the only successful character in his own right. Sure, he lost the Falcon, but just being an owner of the Falcon kind of makes you rad. The point is, our other heroes were just living. Lando was the administrator of Cloud City! Sure, Luke gave up his moisture farm to join the Alliance. Lando gave up a whole city where he had a bald cyborg as his P.A! On top of that, he blew up a Death Star using the Millenium Falcon, something even Han Solo didn’t do.
9. Ahsoka Tano.
Ahsoka is the only person during the rise of the Empire who got it right. She understood both sides were wrong. Like Qui-Gon she knew she should follow her own path instead of a corrupt Republic and a Jedi Order that had lost its way serving corruption. We see her, like Luke, start out a whiny young person who then becomes wiser than the heroes who instructed her. Her story is one of the best Star Wars tales ever told.
10. Han Solo.
I love Han Solo even though he is the most inconsistent character in a trilogy. Many see Han as the coolest hero and I do too. But lets be honest, by the end, he was Luke Skywalker’s sidekick. But he has the Falcon and Chewie is his best friend, he dates Princess Leia. That’s a pretty awesome hero.
In the comments below you can let me know why I am wrong and still throw e-tomatoes at me.