While we were back at Kylo’s ship, we had a chance to buy some green and blue milk from a nearby stand. After the evil son of Solo, Kylo Ren, had his fit and left the area we noticed people lining up just across the way at a vendor’s stand. I asked one of the photographers if that’s for the Blue Milk. She said it was and she suggested I buy the blue milk as it was obtained locally on Batuu whereas the green milk was imported and she suggested I support local Batuu businesses. It was pretty funny. I bought the green milk.
The experience of buying the milk was like any other transaction on Earth. Green or Blue? The only difference is they don’t say dollars. They say credits. That little detail of saying credits might delight some fans but I quickly converted credits to dollars and realized I was paying nearly nine dollars for a disposable coffee cup of a frozen drink.
If you’re wondering what it tasted like, I know exactly what it tastes like having a four year old and a five year old at home. I put the green milk to my lips and flashed back to twenty four hours before as I wiped my daughter down because a frozen Push Up she bought at 7-11 melted quicker than she could eat it. It even has the creamy consistency of aPush Up ice cream you can get anywhere. Sherbet with a creamy runny twist.
I should also note that my green milk was yellow. Maybe the Thala-siren that produced my beverage had infected nipples? Does it cost more if the nipples are infected? I don’t know. I just know it costs a lot for not getting me drunk and I felt like a sucker for paying it. It wasn’t that big of a dream of mine, honestly. But I did it and I get to say I did it and I get to be all Andy Rooney about it. If this is a dream of yours, I’m not knocking it. Do you.
On a side note, Jerry and his son bought some popcorn from a vendor that was multicolored in a small bag. Jerry paid $7 for it. They didn’t really care for it much and gave it to me. I loved it. It tasted exactly like Fruit Loops flavored popcorn but every now and then there was a sour sensation in random clusters. The popcorn itself wasn’t that great but I had fun and it was made all the better because Jerry paid for it. Thanks for taking one for the team, Jerry. That said, the bag was a normal blank popcorn bag you’d get at an elementary school event.
On a side note, I accidentally walked by the cantina as Jerry and son started flipping out over what they were seeing in front of them and as they walked in front of me and I forgot to go inside. We ended up not being able to get into Oga’s Cantina and I peaked in at the end of the night but didn’t get to actually experience it. But it was because we saw the Falcon.
One final thought I have is how having tasted the canonized flavor of blue and green milk, Luke Skywalker is just a weird dude, man. That guy seriously likes some sugary drinks and has the pallet of a rambunctious child. Do not show that guy Monster Energy Drink or you’ll have one Star Wars movie as he takes down the whole Empire by himself in one movie, really fast. I’m surprised he wasn’t three hundred pounds by the time he started training Rey. Knowing Luke Skywalker drinks melted Push Up ice cream is seriously messing with my head. It really makes Rey’s reaction in The Last Jedi have some new meaning. It must have been like watching John Wick eat Lunchables.